Who's On The $1? Never Mind The $50
Just how much does my daughter know about the faces on our money?
My daughters never cease to amaze me. And, at times, I’m amazed at what it is they don’t know.
I’m not talking about something like how to change a flat tire, or replacing the heating element in the dryer for the fourth time in 10 years because doing so yourself is a lot less expensive than hiring a guy at $75 an hour to do the job. Never mind the fact that having to replace the heating element in the dryer for the fourth time in 10 years says a lot about the quality of craftsmanship in today’s modern appliances.
No, those are things that someone has to teach you. That someone could be your dad. It could also be the unseen voice on a YouTube video from RepairClinic.com that you have used to guide you through the process of replacing the heating element in the dryer for the fourth time in 10 years. I’m talking about things that we used to pretty much absorb through osmosis just by being awake. Things that are easy to take in. Things that my 14-year-old daughter, in particular, should know by now without having to strain her Tik Tok-addled brain.
Like who is on our money.
Now, I will give this disclaimer: I am a U.S. history nerd. I can name every president we have ever had, in order. I can recite Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address from memory. Want to know how many presidents are buried at Arlington National Cemetery? Well, the answer is two (JFK and William Howard Taft—who is also the only person to be both president and Supreme Court Chief Justice). I read the World Almanac for fun, and if only I could make some money off my superhuman power to crush all rivals at Trivial Pursuit. I know things. Like who is on our money.
But, my daughter?
A few days ago, my daughters and I were wandering through Sea-Tac International Airport awaiting their flight back home to Oakland. (No, this wasn’t some Divorced Dad Gets The Kids For Christmas And Then Sends Them Back To Mom situation. I’ve been here in Tacoma, Washington, for a while, helping my mother, who is ill. My wife and I had the girls come up here for a week to visit “Mam Maw” for what could be the last time they get to see her.) We split up for a few minutes while my 16-year-old daughter went to Qdoba, and the 14-year-old and I went over to Starbucks.
My daughter ordered two things. One, a butter croissant, was simple enough. The other, a grande caramel ribbon crunch frappucino, with whip and extra crunchies on top, was probably 1,500 calories worth of words that no one in even the coffee-obsessed world of Seattle knew existed 30 years ago.
So, she placed her order. Two of these things (one each for her and her sister), and the croissant came to an airport adjusted price of $21 bucks and change. As an old-school kid of the 80s, I dug out a bunch of grubby dollar bills to pay for it all.
And as my daughter and I waited for our order, I decided to give her a little quiz. I took a $50 bill out of my wallet, put my thumb over the name of the guy on the front, and went for it…
“OK. This is a $50 bill. Do you know who this is?”
“No.”
“Really? You don’t know who is on the $50 bill?”
“No.”
“It’s Ulysses S. Grant.”
“Who’s that?”
“He was the 18th President of the United States. He led the Union Army to victory in the Civil War.”
“OK…”
“You really don’t know who he is, do you?”
“No. Why should I?”
I tried to tamp down my apoplectic response to my kid’s ignorance, but I couldn’t let this pass. I took out a $1 bill, covered up George Washington’s name, and tried again.
“OK. Here’s a $1 bill. Who is this man?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“No. Who is it?”
“What state are we in right now?”
“Washington.”
“Well…”
“That’s George Washington.”
“How would I know that?”
“Uhhh…Because he’s GEORGE WASHINGTON? He was the first president of the United States. THAT’s why you should know who he is.”
I tried some more, but I feared my efforts would be fruitless. I asked my daughter who was on the $10 (Alexander Hamilton), the $20 (Andrew Jackson) and the $100 (Benjamin Franklin). Just to torture myself further, I asked the kid who was on the $2 bill, knowing full well that she had no idea who Thomas Jefferson was, or that it was his face on the two.
I wasn’t done with my history-currency lesson. I brought out what I thought was the one dollar bill that she absolutely would know.
“Who’s on the $5 bill?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s Abraham Lincoln. You’re 14 years old and you don’t know Abraham Lincoln is on the $5 bill?”
“No. Why is this important?”
“Because it’s ABRAHAM LINCOLN! By the time I was five years old, I knew he was on the $5 bill, and who was on all the other dollar bills.”
“Well…You’re older than me. You’ve had more time to learn all of that.”
“I was FIVE YEARS OLD when I learned all of that!”
Maybe my daughter’s ignorance is due to a lack of education in school. Maybe it’s because the concept of money as a physical object, and as something that’s “real”, is starting to fade with the current generation for whom the words PayPal, Venmo and Zelle are verbs. After all, money, in the larger sense, has always been invisible.
But, money has also always been in your pocket. And in addition to a dollar being worth a dollar, it’s also a reminder of who was part of the building of this country. It’s a history lesson that you pass along when you pay for something like a croissant and a couple of plastic cups of liquid sugar.
And the next lesson will be with the coins. I can’t wait to quiz my kid about who’s on the dime…