Keep Your Crap (Bag) To Yourself
The simplest requests are often met with the greatest arrogance
I originally intended this screed to be a diatribe about “Dog People”—You know, those people who are really into their dogs. Like, they bring their pooch right into a coffee shop/restaurant/grocery store even when those places have signs up that clearly state that dogs are not allowed inside, with the exception of legit service dogs.
And when someone is pushing their shopping cart around with Fido sitting inside the thing…Look, I’m sorry, but that dog is not there to “service” anything but its owner’s sense of privilege. If you need your “emotional support” pet to help you get through choosing between Cheerios and Cap’n Crunch, then you should probably consider ordering from Instacart.
Anyway…
What this is going to be about is not “Dog People” per se, but the subject does involve a dog owner. I like dogs well enough. My family had a dog for 10 years when I was a kid (R.I.P. Cracker). If we didn’t have three cats already (Please insert your cat jokes here. We probably deserve them) we might have a dog right now. Being a dog owner isn’t a bad thing.
What is a bad thing is being an asshole. Like the dog owner who a couple of days ago dropped off his dog’s bag of crap in our trash can.
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Why this guy is an asshole is because we don’t want dog shit in our trash can. This is why my wife made up a sign and attached it to the top of our trash can. The sign is simple enough:
“Please don’t put your dog’s poop in our trash can.”
Sounds simple enough, right?
Apparently not for the guy who the other day threw a bag of his dog’s “present” into our trash can. Like many people in our neighborhood, we have cameras around our house that record goings-on and send those videos to the cloud. And because of this, I caught the following at around 7:30 a.m. a few days ago…
I’m pretty sure you can’t read the sign on the top of our trash can, but you can see it is there. If you can see it, then you know that the guy in the video can as well. And, believe me…This guy can read the English language. He knows what it says. He knows that my wife and I are kindly asking that if you have cleaned up after your dog, you please refrain from throwing your bag of dog crap into our trash can.
And…He just doesn’t care.
Now, I understand that when we get down to brass tacks what we are talking about here is trash. And it is trash being thrown into a trash can. The trash can has no feelings. It just holds the trash that is put into it until it is emptied once a week. In our case, that is every Tuesday.
But…
Let’s say you are invited to someone’s house. Maybe it’s your best friend that you’ve known since grade schiool. Maybe it’s a Super Bowl party bering thrown by a neighbor. Maybe it’s a Bible study group. It really doesn’t matter. However, when you get to the door, your host asks you to take your shoes off once you walk inside. What are you going to do?
—Take your shoes off, go inside, and have a good time.
—Leave your shoes on, walk right in, and, in effect, tell your host that you don’t give a shit about them and their simple request as you raid their fridge of all their good IPAs. (You also probably didn’t bring anything to party.)
This is what’s going on with us, our trash can, the sign requesting people not throw their dog’s crap bags into our trash can, and the neighbor who throws his dog’s crap bags into our trash can because why in the hell should he be bothered to honor a simple request by someone he doesn’t know since such requests apparently don’t apply to him…
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I’m not usually the kind of guy who gets on social media to air every grievance or perceived slight I experience. But, if there is a place for that, it is definitely NextDoor. I am convinced that 97% of the posts there involve someone telling their neighbors to “watch out for this guy” who was walking on their street and could be anything from a car thief to a package thief. The other 3% of posts deal with missing or found pets.
I posted the video of Dog Crap Man on Nextdoor, told my story about how we had a sign on our trash can asking that people don’t put their dog’s shit bags in there and…Well, most of the respondents were on my “side”, if you will. I’d say the majority of folks adhere to the belief that when you clean up after your dog, you should take what is then your trash and throw it away in your trash can.
But…
I really do wonder what kind of societal norms some people were taught when they were growing up. Some notable replies were:
“It’s trash. Why do you care?”
“Would you prefer they just leave it on the ground?”
“Here we go…The annual dog poop debate.”
“It’s not really your can. The trash company owns it so you really can’t ask anyone to not put their trash in there!”
“I don’t care who puts what in my trash can. It’s better than leaving it on the street!”
And, what is probably my favorite:
“What a Karen.”
(Yeah. That really ruined my day.)
To me, this whole experience highlights a handful of behaviors that have developed over the last couple of decades that have made society worse. There’s the overwhelming sense of entitlement in which people think they deserve everything just because…well, just because. There’s the belief that rules and requests from others don’t apply to them.
And, maybe worst of all, there’s the complete lack of shame. This is really a combination of the other two. Too many people think no one can judge them, so they are just going to do whatever they want, regardless of others’ requests or feelings.
Well…I’ve had enough of that.
You think it’s OK to throw your dog’s shit into my trash can? Fine. I wonder what you would think if you got up tomorrow morning and found you garbage can full of your neighbors trash. Something tells me that you aren’t going to be too happy about it. Better yet, how would you like it if I drove over and dropped off a 20-lb. litter box that our three cats (Again, please insert cat-owner jokes here) have defiled over the last week.
I mean…It’s just trash, right?
Grow up. I hope it’s not too late for these people to “get it” and accept some social norms. Keep your trash to yourself.
Now, about walking your dog into a grocery store…