Into The Seattle Mariners Abyss...
An Ode To Another Mariners Opening Day
“I’m not sure if me being a Seattle Mariners fan is proof that there is no God, or proof that God made me a Seattle Mariners fan because He hates me.”
-Me. Far too many times than I should admit.
And so it begins. Again.
Today, the Seattle Mariners will take the field to start their 49th Major League Baseball season. And, as usual, I will hope for the best, and prepare for the worst-possible outcome when the season comes to a close, 162 games and approximately seven months from now.
This is because I am now, as I have been all my life, a diehard, long-suffering Seattle Mariners fan. The Mariners have provided me with decades of great memories of baseball glory, but also, decades of painful memories of stupendously bad baseball and agony. In almost 50 years of existence, the Mariners have only made the post-season five times. And every one of the Mariners’ 48 prior seasons has ended the same way: No World Series victory.
Of course, you have to get to the World Series in order to win it. And, as every Seattle Mariners fan knows, the Mariners are the only MLB to not have even once played in the World Series. Even the Tampa Bay Rays, which came into existence 21 years after the Mariners played their first game, and which are playing their “home” games this year in a minor-league park because a hurricane blew the actual, literal roof off of their terrible ballyard, have been to the World Series. Twice, in fact.
But, the Seattle Mariners?
You can count on zero fingers the number of times the Mariners have made it to the Fall Classic. And that number will probably still be at zero when this season reaches it merciful end.
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***
“There are times I love the Seattle Mariners more than I love my own kids, and times I hate them more than I hate myself. And that’s a lot.”
-Me. More times than I should ever admit.
Rarely has a love-hate relationship ever been as real as it is for fans of the Seattle Mariners and their team. All one needs to do is look at the Four Eras of Mariners History to understand why we feel the way we fell.
Era No. 1: Awfulneess (1977-1994)
The Mariners began playing what might be called “Major League Baseball” in 1977. The biggest things about the team back then were that they played in the space age-looking Seattle Kingdome, and the original ownership group included actor and entertainer Danny Kaye. Nobody born after 1977 knows who Danny Kaye was, but believe me, back when we in the Seattle area were still thought of as backwoods hillbillies and/or part of Alaska, having a legit “celebrity” as Danny Kaye was the cat’s ass for us.
Like many expansion teams, the Mariners were terrible out of the gate. This was to be expected for a few years, but…The Mariners had 14-straight losing seasons before finally going 83-79 in 1991. That team had young sluggers like Jay Buhner, Edgar Martinez, and, the Greatest Mariner Who Ever Lived, Ken Griffey Jr., who joined the Mariners in 1989. Seattle used its first-ever winning year to promptly go into the toilet in 1992 and finish 64-98. And somehow, the team then made the best managerial hire it has ever made, when the Mariners brought in a guy known for holding his temper and being as calm as the water in Lake Tahoe.
Actually, they did the opposite and hired Sweet Lou Piniella.
Era No. 2: The “Glory” Years (1995-2001)
The first two years of the Lou Piniella Era were pretty unremarkable. The Mariners went 82-80 in 1993, and who cares what they did in 1994 because a strike wiped out the season after about two-thirds of it had been played.
1995 was another matter.
As any Mariners fan knows, 1995 was the year when Ken Griffey Jr. broke his hand, missed about half the season, and the team somehow pulled itself together to with the American League West and secure its first-ever postseason appearance. This included the most-famous play in Mariners history, The Double, when Martinez drove in Griffey, who scored the winning run in Game 5 of the American League Division Series over the Yankees. The Mariners would go on to lose the American League Championship Series to the Cleveland Indians, 4 games to 2, but we didn’t care. We were finally “winners”, and we felt the future was ours.
And it was for a while. For a bit, anyway.
The Mariners would go on to make the playoffs in 1997 and 2000. And there was no World Series either of those years. By then, Griffey was gone. Future Hall of Famer Randy Johnson was gone. Alex Rodriguez had taken off to Texas for $250 million.
But, what we got in return was one of the true, legitimate game changers in MLB history:
Ichiro.
In 2001, Ichiro Suzuki would be the spark for the single-greatest regular season any MLB team has ever had. The Mariners won 116 games. Ichiro would go on to win both the American League Rookie of the Year and Most Valuable Player awards. Everyone on the team was good, if not great. If there was ever a year for the Mariners to not just get to, but win the World Series 2001 was that year.
The Mariners lost to the Yankees in the American League Championship Series, 4 games to 1, including losing the first two games, which were held in Seattle.
And this is where things pretty much ended for the next two decades.
Era No. 3: Stumbling and Stupidity (2002-2021)
I really would like to erase this era from my memory. The “best” things that happened were Ichiro breaking the MLB single-season hit record, with 262 hits, in 2007, and Felix Hernandez pitching a Perfect Game, in 2012. During this period, the Mariners would, sometimes, finish the year with a winning record, and sometimes lose 101 games. What distinguishes this period is that the Mariners went 20-straight seasons without making the playoffs, while wasting most of the careers of Ichiro and Felix.
Era No. 4: Promises and Lies (2022-Present)
In 2022, new Mariners superstar, and super personality Julio Rodriguez led the Mariners to finally get to the playoffs for the first time since George W. Bush was in the White House. We had something to hope for. The Mariners beat the Blue Jays in the playoffs before losing to the Astros. But, with Julio, catcher Cal Raleigh, shortstop J.P. Crawford and the best starting-pitching staff in the MLB coming together, it felt like “we” would be not only making the playoffs every year, but winning the division, too. The World Series was within sight.
And then…An incredibly short-sighted ownership and foolishly arrogant front office did almost nothing to improve the team. This was now years after what was called a “step-back” meant to get the team out from bad contracts and rebuild the farm system. The team promised that it would then spend to add free agents to build out the “young core” of players, and then promptly didn’t do that to any degree of truth.
And now…Here we are, with the 2025 season about to start.
***
“Being a Seattle Mariners fan means you are always one inning away from wanting to light yourself on fire.”
-Me. Again, more times than I care to admit.
I have a friend whom I call the MËTÄL MÄN because he loves “metal” music. Mostly hair metal. We’ve been friends since college, and, like guy friends do, we bust each others’ balls from time to time over things like music and sports.
And one of the things we do regarding the Seattle Mariners is say we are staring into The Abyss. We will be excited over a winning streak, and then, when the team loses, we go to The Abyss. The season is “over”. Player X needs to be “DFA’d” (basically, released). If the Mariners don’t win EVERY GAME, there is no hope at all.
This past offseason was one of the most-depressing in Mariners history. The team really didn't do anything of note to improve the lineup. They brought back a second baseman who was injured most of last year and plan of playing him at third. They signed some 37-year-old journeyman who’s name I have already forgotten. They have a new guy on the team named “Rowdy” and all I can think of when I see him is the late wrestling legend Rowdy Roddy Piper. And this is a Good Thing
.I can only drink so much Kool-Aid. Do I want Julio to hit .300, launch 40 bombs and win the MVP? Yes. Am I glad that Cal Raleigh just showed some faith in the team by signing a 6-year, $105 million contract extension? He’s the best catcher in MLB, so yes. Do I get excited about “our” starting pitching rotation, which is probably they best in baseball right now? Of course…
But, I am a Seattle Mariners fan. The margin for error for this team is as narrow as it has been in the last 10 years. Pitchers can blow out their arms in their first inning of the season. Hitters can, and do, get into season-long slumps. Losing any game is terrible. I absolutely hate it when the team loses and fans will say, “Oh, that’s OK! It’s a long season! There’s plenty of time for them to turn it around!” Losses are losses and once you have them on your record, you are that much more in the hole. The absolute worst place to be in is when you are fighting for a playoff spot, need to win EVERY GAME, and also need multiple other teams to lose their games at the exact same time. And the Seattle Mariners have a habit of doing this over and over and over.
Personally, I am expecting this team to go 77-85 this year. They really didn’t do enough in the offseason, and the rubber is going to hit the road by the end of May. But…The Seattle Mariners are still MY TEAM. I have to hope, even if it drives me insane. Like I do every year, I have shaved my left bicep to show off my Mariners logo tattoo. Like I do every year, I have put a Mariners pocket schedule in my wallet and I will make a “W” or an “L” on the calendar after every game. Like I do every year, I will fly my Mariners flag on every game day here in Oakland…Only, this year, I will fly the Mariners flag that belonged to my late mother, who died in January and was a diehard Fan of the Seattle Mariners, the only team to have never even gotten to the World Series.
Man, I hope that this is the last year I have to describe the Mariners that way.